


Cold Night Comforts

by Talvenhenki



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: During a night watch, Leon and Lancelot talk about Lancelot's past and the brotherhood between the knights.
Relationships: Lancelot & Leon (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 13





	Cold Night Comforts

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea and wrote this in one evening. I am too tired, it's almost midnight, so I won't bother you much with these notes. Have fun, I hope you enjoy platonic Leoncelot as much as I do!
> 
> No proofreading, we die like non-binary individuals!

“I was a cage fighter once.”

It was a chilly evening, and Lancelot had a guard shift together with Leon. They were huddled together near a fire, side by side to keep warm. Leon turned to look at Lancelot who was warming his hands over the warm fire all while looking out over the castle wall.

“Why?” Leon asked softly.

Lancelot sighed and turned his palms upwards. “Not entirely by choice”, he explained, “it was the only thing I could do for a living. I fought for another man’s entertainment so I could eat and have a roof over my head. I killed for the man in order to live. I’m not proud of it.”

Leon’s face fell. He had only known Lancelot for a short time, but it had quickly come to Leon’s attention that Lancelot was a good man. Lancelot preferred protecting and guarding over violence, but he also knew his way around the sword. If Leon were to choose one word to describe Lancelot, it would be _kindness_ , for Lancelot genuinely wanted to make the world a better place.

“I am not proud of it”, Lancelot breathed, “because I feel now that I could have spared the other person. Why did that man make such a rule that I had to kill the loser of the fight? Both of us just wanted to live, to _survive_ until the next day and the next fight.”

Shuffling closer to Lancelot, Leon swung his arm over his friend’s shoulders. “I’m sure you would have spared the others if you felt like you could. We don’t always have that choice.”

Looking at Leon, Lancelot gave him a melancholy smile. Rubbing his hands together to keep the blood flowing, Lancelot looked around once more, before he directed his eyes to the sky. Despite being so cold, the sky was cloudless – or was it because of it? Leon had never been too good at understanding how the weather worked.

“Sometimes”, Lancelot whispered, “I feel like I am safe for the first time now that I live in Camelot. I’ve been on the move ever since I was a child, having been orphaned so young. I…sometimes I feel so unbearably tired. Like I can’t move. I wonder if the feeling of safety is why I feel that way.”

Leon sighed. “I don’t know, Lancelot. No one I know has your experiences. But I do know the exhaustion. I feel it sometimes too.”

Lancelot turned his head quickly to see Leon’s face. Leon noticed the sadness in Lancelot’s eyes, the unspoken wish that Leon wouldn’t have to feel such pain. Because it _was_ pain, although the source was different for both of them. Not seeming to know what to do, Lancelot leaned his head against Leon’s shoulder.

“I wish you didn’t have to. How does one even fight such a thing?”

 _Ah._ Leon had suspected it, but there was the confirmation. Lancelot only knew how to fight, how to struggle against his adversaries. Being orphaned so young, Lancelot had had not other choice than to fight tooth and nail for his right to live. Leon couldn’t even begin to imagine how powerless Lancelot probably felt, being all alone with the numbing exhaustion, with the sadness.

“I try to think of the good things I have”, Leon said and began to comb his fingers through Lancelot’s hair. “I think of the brotherhood between the knights, of the celebrations, and of those who have survived.”

“The _brotherhood_ ”, Lancelot whispered, “that’s a good thing to think about. It gives me hope, you know. The thought that there will be someone to have my back, someone I can trust my darkest secrets. I’ve never had anyone like that.”

Leon sighed. Lancelot’s life seemed to be hell-bent on making Leon sad about it. How much sadness could one man fit inside? Probably more than Leon had ever thought possible.

“You have us now”, Leon offered, “we’ll have your back. Through thick and thin. The knights of Camelot do not leave their own helpless.”

Lancelot smiled softly. “I feel better having heard that from you. You always go out of your way to make the others feel more welcome here. I’ve noticed you do so. That time when Elyan was going hungry because he felt bad for having seconds at dinner, or that time Percival would keep quiet because the others were louder. I’m lucky to have your friendship, Leon.”

Leon blushed. It wasn’t often that the others noticed the little things he did for the new knights who were unsure of their place at times. Had Lancelot been allowed to keep his status as a knight after the first time he had been knighted, Leon would have done the same things for Lancelot. However, Leon had been so busy with Elyan, Percival, and Gwaine that he hadn’t had the time to make sure that Lancelot had settled in, therefore losing his chance to make Lancelot feel welcome.

“I’m lucky to have yours”, Leon said softly, “you’re so loyal and kind to everyone. You’re better than some of the knights I’ve known personally for years.”

“Surely I’m not that good a person?” Lancelot asked. “I’m just a poor farm boy who grew up to be a fighter.”

“A fighter with a heart of gold”, Leon decided, “you deserve the knighthood more than anyone. I hope no one is making you feel inferior because you’re not nobility? Because if someone is doing so, I will have to unleash Gwaine on them.”

This made Lancelot laugh. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he lifted his head to look at Leon who was trying to keep a straight face but failed miserably after one look at Lancelot. His laugh was contagious, not often shared with others.

“You make Gwaine sound like a secret weapon or something”, Lancelot said, still chuckling.

“I’d say that his disdain of the nobility certainly is a secret weapon against all these nobles we have as knights.”

“Guard change!”

Lancelot and Leon looked up to see Gwaine hurry to the little fire they had at their guard post. Elyan was following him and, unlike Gwaine, he was dressed well enough not to shiver in the chilly night air. Gwaine was already shivering and trying to warm himself around the fire.

“Is it already so late?” Leon asked. When Elyan nodded, Leon said, “and we were just getting to the point of sharing all our secrets, weren’t we?”

“Time passes faster in good company”, Lancelot said, grinning. “Let’s get to bed; we’ll need some sleep before tomorrow’s practice.”

“Good night, you two!” Elyan called as Leon and Lancelot left the guard post.

The two walked in complete silence, knowing that they were safe around each other. The castle felt a little bit eerie at night, but Leon did not fear the long shadows, not as long as he was around Lancelot.

As Leon and Lancelot reached Lancelot’s chamber, Leon stopped Lancelot. “If the exhaustion ever gets too much”, he said, “my door is always open for you. I might not be a physician, but I can listen to your worries. I’d like to help if I can.”

Lancelot nodded. “Thank you. It means a lot to know that you would do so. I might take you up on that one of these days.”

Smiling, Leon bid Lancelot good night and retired to his own chambers. That night, he felt like he had got to know Lancelot a little bit better.

**Author's Note:**

> Comint?


End file.
